I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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