1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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