you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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