just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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