just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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