Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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