he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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