Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
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wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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