Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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