No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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