i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We left the knife in your bed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize