Where did you get a picture of my penis
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize