I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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