She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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