hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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