what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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