question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize