it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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