at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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