You work out of a Hotel?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize