I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize