So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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