wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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