Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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