Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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