Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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