i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
two words: eviction party
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize