NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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