the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize