In America we eat man semen.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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