i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
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I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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