if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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