Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
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The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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