So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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