Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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