I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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