He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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