She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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