the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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