I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
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He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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