My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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