this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
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work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize