I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
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Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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