I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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