Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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