Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize