Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize