I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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