i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
two words: eviction party
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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