Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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